WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
