Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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