dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
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