did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
