I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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