im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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