im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
