I looked at my own cervix.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
