I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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