At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
