Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
