the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
