when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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