There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize