Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dear god my vagina.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
