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Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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