yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
