the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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