got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
