HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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