my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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