I cannot find my penis.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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