You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
