Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
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I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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