He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
