Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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