We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
