thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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