I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
