Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
