47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
