Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Randomize
