Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
