i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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