I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
