He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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