i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
