At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I am one with the molecules
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
