I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
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Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
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He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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