he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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