if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
