i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
