We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
