please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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