week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
