Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
