I cut my penus on the lid.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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