yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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