I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He better not be in your backpack
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
