no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
