I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
