So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
