I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
barbara walters just said penis...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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