come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
