hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
