would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
