does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm at about main and main street
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
