First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Randomize
