dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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