Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
