So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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