Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
