I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
