dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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