Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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